The words that spoiled my fragile happy mood. The day was great yesterday. There is one special little girl that all my kids love. A little girl in school with Luke that magically became the first and only friend they all share and love. Her mom the sweetest person in the world, so easy to speak to and be with. I confessed to my friend that I had invited her over because she was just so easy going and I knew she wouldn't mind helping serve our kids and watch over mine when I couldn't. Having a little bit of my life before one month ago in my home was refreshing. Sadly, not enough of a spirit lift.
I have this internal debate raging inside me. Suck it up, move on. Stop dwelling you are going to drive yourself nuts. Nothing is going to change this situation so just stop focusing on it. Live for tomorrow not today or yesterday. All things I did easily 4 weeks and 1 day ago. Now bed times come and go and my mood remains sour and pitiful. The day begins and the minute my achy arms and blistered hand bear weight against my crutch the pity and frustration sets in. I push through it, struggle to get clothes off hangers and get dressed. I crutch to the top of the stairs, heave and blink and make my way down. Crutch down, crutch down, bad leg down, good leg down, breath. "Down with the bad, up with the good" the physical therapist speaks in my mind. Like Heaven and Hell. Down is hell it really is.
And all that aside I feel ready to just give in and just let myself be pitiful and sour. Let myself cry. What have I got to lose? I actually looked on Pinterest for funny memes about shitty days. There were no results. There really is nothing funny. Now, Pinterest results for memes about sadness are plenty.
A little positive for a sad rambling - Mrs. GD, I am doing my best. One little guy in this world who is learning empathy. Thank you for reminding me how important it is.
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