Confessions

So what is a blog without some confessions.

1)  My children watch TV pretty much all day long.  Yeah, I know.  Don't feel bad, its a period of time that will be a distant memory in a few months.  Or, you do what you have to do.  But any of you who are parents know that while I will say "I know it shouldn't bug me" that it does and will continue to bug me.  It is not what I want but I get that it is not solvable at this time.

2) I had to ask my six year old to sit outside my bathroom door tonight because I stunk and needed a bath.  He didn't even bat an eye and sat dutifully outside the door doing his homework.

3) I peed in the bathtub.  My kids do it all the time....and really the idea of limping over to the toilet and propping myself down after a bath was exhausting.

4) I walked today without crutches for the width of my kitchen and living room.

5) I yelled at my son, the same one who didn't bat an eye when his 33 year old mother asked him to listen out for her.  Talk about way more guilt then number 1.   That in addition to not allowing him to turn in a book order because he has taken to fibbing on the truth.

Back to number four.  I walked.  It resulted in two naps - both two hours long but I walked.  No crutches, only me and my braced leg.  I was able to not only bear all my weight on my leg but was able to use what little muscle I have to move it forward.  The doctor told me this could be possible and was a goal.  Now this does not mean I am healed.   I still can not bend my leg more than 40 degrees nor can I walk without my brace.   Tomorrow I go for an x-ray and with all luck my knee cap will be in perfect position held by its screws and wires.  And perhaps I can move forward with more physical physical therapy.

And onto number 5.  With all phases of parenthood there are challenges.  And with each phase it seems the challenge is increased.  You do not get off with learning from the oldest child and breeze through similar phases with younger children because no child is alike. No two children respond to punishments, encouragements or situations alike.  And its frustrating for any parent.  We all want to check out, take a trip or just step out and take a breath.  I can't wait for the day I can step out again and take a breath.  I know my son can't wait either.

Thirty five days since injury.   Twenty five since surgery which means I am nearly one month into a six to eight month recovery.  Filled with dread, anticipation, and a little fear but hope and a few more smiles.