Asleep

It is so odd to realize that in hours I will be asleep.  My body dependent completely on others.  My children about their day, aware of where I am but oblivious to the risks.  I trust my surgeon completely.  I offer them complete honesty of my current health knowing well that truth will guide them.  My body will be at complete rest.  My mind asleep.  Hours of my life to never be recalled.

I have had surgery before.  But never with nerve block and induced paralysis.  Waking up in pain is normal and healthy.   I fear waking up to nothing..I fear the unknown. 

All going well is the only outcome I will consider.   MUA with arthroscopy.   Beyond that I leave to my written pre-op orders, risks and fate.

Please pray for Sydney.  My Child's solace is in my body and soul being beside her.  She will worry,  fear and feel anxiety over our distance..  Our routine is each other. Please prepay for Justin and her to find a stride. 

For Luke to be kind and for his family that needs a big brother who is as kind as he is intelligent.

For Emily, that our family appreciates her amazing wisdom, hugs and nuggles.  She brings these things more than we appreciate.

Tomorrow I wake up and regain my right leg.  There is no other option.