Water on a floor

I think for the most part people walk around oblivious to the smallest thing that may lie on the floor.  You see rocks.  You notice trash.  You loathe the rare sight of tagging or puke.  I noticed all these things up until two months ago.  Now though I notice so much more.  I notice a restaurant with carpeting covering its entry way.  I notice slick and smooth concrete and its counterpart porous and course concrete.  I notice a small pool of fluid against black concrete.  I notice frosting on carpet.  Anything on the floor that isn't identical to the floor itself.

There are some people who doubt the validity of post traumatic stress.  I do not know much about the scientific and emotional background behind it.  I am certain I have it.

On a rainy day every step is a memory I live over and over.    In public bathrooms near sinks I see spots I carefully step to avoid.  I caution my children at every random moment of the day I can.  Fall and you could break your knee.

I have always been a ticky person.  I have always had OCD issues.  They were always focused on germs.  Germs now are the least of my issues.  I am focused on every single step I make.  At home and out and about.  I take every single grounded foot plant that I am blessed with.  I always take the time to tell employees of my overly sensitive issues when it comes to the surfaces your feel touch.  I hope I am the reason someday that no one lives through what I am living through.  It has become my mission.  My purpose.

Please watch as you walk.  One small trip and your fall will be a jaded memory of post traumatic stress.

Life moves on when you fear each step there is no doubt to that.  But many times it moves on n very slow motion.  A motion I wish I could have slowed down before it changed our lives for ever.